I cast my eyes upon setting the setting sun
While feeling the caress of the wind.
I shut my eyes to relish the beauty of this entrancing feeling
and for a moment my racing heart stopped to breath.
Just for a moment, I was no longer haunted by what would have been.
For a moment, my thoughts didn’t crawl back to you.
It didn’t loathe you for being stupid or love you for being you.
In that moment, I saw the possibility of building a fortified wall around my heart.
One that would make me strong.
Just for a moment….
But the wind passed, the sun set and the haunting was back.
My thoughts ran back to hating and loving you all at the same time,
And the walls I built came crumbling.
With you it’s always “square one” and we are just running in circles.
I want to let go as desperately as I want to hold on.
It is a conflict of the heart.